I’ll be honest. I’m a weenie. Oh sure, I may seem like I have my act together, but if truth be told, there’s a valid reason I chose to not have children. Don’t get me wrong. I love, love, love kids. I love their pudgy little legs when they are just infants, and their Frankenstein gait when they are just learning to walk. I love their giggles and innocence when they are toddlers, and their curiosity about everything in the world as they get older.
So why didn’t I choose to have children myself, then? Well, let’s just say that the universe is a better place for my not having had kids. For one thing, as I alluded to earlier, I am an unadulterated weenie. I’m not a big fan of bumps, bruises, blood, needles, or anything else that children routinely experience while growing up. So, for example, if my child ran into the house one day, screaming that he’d just fallen and skinned his knee, you can be darn sure that while my heart would be in the right place, my mind would be turning summersaults as I lovingly suggested that he run nextdoor to ask the neighbor to clean and bandage his knee.
In addition, I am utterly incapable of disciplining a pet, let alone a child. My heart is just too damn soft. I’d be the kind of mother that, if my child asked if he could play on the freeway, I’d reply: “Honey, look, I’d really rather you didn’t because it’s just too dangerous. But if you insist, then please be back by dark so that I won’t worry about you so much.”
Now what does all this have to do with pilling my beautiful little Himalayan rescue, Loki? Well, he has a virus, and I’m supposed to give him an antibiotic once a day for 10 days. After exhausting every conceivable way to give him the pill the last 5 days, I finally had to revert to doing it the only way that guarantees he’s getting it in his system — basically forcing it down his throat. Not a good experience. After trying it just once, I’ve decided that pilling is simply not for me. I was so traumatized that I’ll inevitably require therapy for the rest of my life.
It’s only important that you are at peace about your decision. You must have faced a lot of pressure like everyone who isn’t planning children, even if this is temporary…! They always have to emphasise how children are absolutely fantastic and how your decision is wrong. Oh and if they are men, then you also get called a catlady. ???? Well my husband likes cats too, does that make him a catgentleman? I don’t know what ever is wrong with me, but I’ve never understood a typical woman behavior, squeeling around babies, it’s crazy that I get like that but around cats. I can’t look upon blood either and I worry way too much. A child can grab something stupid off the ground and choke literally in seconds, all it takes is you god forbid turning around and them being out of sight for a brief moment. I have generalized anxiety, having a child would really drive it through the roof for me. Honestly have no idea how people have the guts to babysit someone else’s child! I would be an awful, helicopter mother, the child would learn by observing the mother that the world is a dangerous place and develop anxiety from the early age. And that’s not a good life to live! Most people will probably judge me but I don’t care. I am pro life so if it happens we will lovingly accept but surely not planning right now.
Hi Toni
since two years I’m totally into Fertility Awareness and Natural Contraception and I was loving your book. I have now two kittens, 5 months old, living with me. Both are females. I feel already sorrow for the moment when I will need to sterilize them. It would be sooo nice not to have to do that. Do you know if a method of natural birth control for cats exist?!?
Dear Toni,
I used to have a cat that I loved more than anything I could imagine. Then I had a child. I’ve grown and stretched in so many ways and have known love that I had never even conceived of. I’m a way better person for having children. Cats are great, but children can do so much in your life, it’s really quite incredible. God bless you.