It probably comes as no surprise that many couples are sexually incompatible, but often, the reason could be so easily remedied if people just understood basic physiology. If you were a fly on the wall in bedrooms throughout the world, you’d be stunned to see how many women fake orgasms, even with men who they’ve been married to for decades. Are women really that devious? Actually, the answer virtually always comes down to female anatomy, and how we were designed.

In a word, the most sensitive part of the man’s body is the underside of the shaft, near the tip of his penis. For the woman, on the other hand, it’s the clitoris. But because the clitoris is located outside the vagina, intercourse is usually not as intense for women as it is for men. In fact, studies indicate that a large majority of women are unable to achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone.

As you can imagine, because most people aren’t taught basic human anatomy, misunderstandings in bed continually result. For example, women often fake orgasms because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings, or they don’t think it’s worth the longer time and effort it would take to have one. This type of deception can poison an intimate relationship, which is unfortunate, because it could so easily be resolved if both people understood the difference between male and female physiology. Needless to say, communication between partners is the key to developing a fulfilling and warm sexual relationship.

And an even sadder situation is the number of women who have never had an orgasm altogether, often assuming that they are the only ones. One of the best ways for women to learn how to have an orgasm altogether is to lay comfortably in their bathtub with a bath pillow under their head and let a warm stream of water flow over their clitoris, ideally using a hand-held shower wand. It may take quite a few times for you to discover what feels good for you, but usually the warm stream of water alone will allow you to have an orgasm.

So if a woman can learn how to have an orgasm herself, and if both men and women just internalized this one physiological fact and truly understood how it inevitably impacts a woman’s sexuality, it could be a real game changer. In fact, I dare say that it would allow women who don’t want to continue the façade to finally come clean, as it were.